What if there was a way to get any conversation into productive territory?
Ideally, you can get someone to not only take a fresh look at their own beliefs, but also take your side on some things. One of my favorite conversational tricks can often accomplish this.
Conversations often come to loggerheads when people adopt a fixed position. “I’m a democrat, being liberal is good.” From there, it’s easy to let emotions and catch phrases drive a discussion. One of the easiest ways I’ve found to break out of this pattern is to take the other person’s position beyond what they are comfortable with. “I understand you are in favor of Universal Basic Income. What if instead of basic, we just give everyone $100k per year? What would be reasons why that would or wouldn’t work?”
The key is to:
- Not take it too far, or risk coming off as disingenuous or patronizing
- Be concrete enough where they can imagine the scenario
If all goes according to plan, you will both end up thinking new thoughts about the broader topic and likely agreeing on some things that you hadn’t yet.
I like to think of this process as “shaking the tree.” It takes something stale and often dislodges some interesting things. How many conversations have you had that stalled out where a little tree shaking would have gotten you where you wanted to go?